I don't know how three and a half months have passed since I last managed a blog. Oh wait, yes I do. I work full time, mother full time, wife full time, cook full time. I make everything the boy eats, pick out everything he wears. And I am NOT COMPLAINING; this is exactly what I want to be doing. It's just that something has got to give, and blogging/ writing in my mommy journal are at the top of that list. I don't want to give these things up entirely though. Time flies... this "baby" is 14 and a half months old!... and I want to document the moments.
Speaking of moments, my best current mommy advice is to cherish every moment, the good, the bad, the ugly, the AMAZING. Recently I found out that a boy I know from elementary school and his wife both were diagnosed with very serious, possibly terminal cancer. They have a toddler who is not even two. They were living a wonderful life. I think of them daily and every time I do, I remind myself to stop and stare at my boy, to appreciate my husband, to thank my parents, and to just live my life and really try not to complain and sweat that proverbial small stuff. It's hard sometimes to focus on the positives and not let things drag you down, but life IS hard and it IS a bitch and it CAN knock the living shit out of you, so you have to just appreciate what you have or you will be pure miserable.
As for that beautiful, phenomenal, delicious, stubborn, willful golden boy of mine... what can I say that won't involve writing a small novel? He is the light of my life. I have such a surge of joy when it is time to pick him up from nannyshare, it makes my whole day. He's at the stage now when he runs to me when I come, and that is better than any drug. Being a mother has always been challenging in some ways and at this stage of the game, there is definitely power struggle involved. I see it with myself, my friends who post on facebook, the other kids in the nannyshare. They start to figure out that they have control, and all hell breaks loose. This is another big lesson for me to just sort of be firm and go with the flow. I try not to get too stressed over days when he wants to whine more than usual, when he wants to spend hours going in and out of the screen door, when he doesn't want to eat or throws all that careful food I make on the floor for the dogs. Ultimately everything levels out; hard days are followed by extremely pleasant, easy ones. Bad food days are followed by him eating everything in sight like a little piggy. He is even learning "no" and some measure of safety. This is important as the kid really has no fear! I want to let him blossom while learning his limits as well.
No one ever said being a mother was easy. It is work almost every minute of every day. But this is the work that I always wanted, so I have to drag my tired ass forward sometimes and really try to be the best that I can be at any given moment. And there is nothing, NOTHING, more rewarding and worthwhile.
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