Nap and Potty Fail

Still no success with the crib. I think we hit a low point on the last attempt. We let him cry for 2.5 hours this past weekend. One of us stayed in the room the whole time, talking to him, patting him. Nothing worked. At this point I have thrown up my hands and called a professional sleep consultant. I KNOW in theory what I am supposed to do and in fact did it quite well with #1 son, who to this day is a great sleeper and loves his crib. The professional will analyze what we have been doing and together we will come up with a plan and we will stick to it. I just need someone who knows what the hell they are doing to tell me what I am putting in place is ok. It will definitely be challenging for everyone at first because I am so lazy about just letting him sleep on me whenever wherever. But I'm not willing to sit around and do nothing while I am home with him. There are a million projects, improvements, plans that I have. I also want quality time with the big boy alone while the little one takes his morning nap. Right now I am stuck inside while he plays outside with daddy. So this is all for the best. Boy, it's hard to be a parent! The other big project over winter break was supposed to be teaching big boy to use the potty. He will go to the bathroom once a day on most days at school. At home he wants NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Physically he is ready but emotionally, he is not ready. Period, end of story. We have tried candy, toys, stickers, cookies, showing him how we pee, everything you are supposed to do and think of. Yesterday he happened to be naked after bath and seemed like he needed to pee so we put him on the toilet and he was just. so. miserable. Not crying like a tantrum but really crying in misery. So that's it. He may be almost 3, but he's not ready, and I'm not willing to hide his diapers and force him to use the toilet or potty at this point. I will keep asking and encouraging but he is going to have to be ok with trying. It's hard to walk the line between what is good for them and what is going to traumatize them! Goodness!

Now that I have officially* become a SAHM, my first real challenge, ironically enough, is to sleep/ crib train this baby. He is almost 8.5 months old. Previous attempts have been hit or miss or not accomplished by me. The nanny he was with for two months let him cry it out, the babysitter he had for a few weeks started training him to sleep in his own bed but she didn't watch him daily. My attempts worked once or twice but I always seem to find an excuse not to do it or I gave up if he cried a lot. At this point, with two week vacation for S. having begun, we have really come to the point where it's either cry, or all of us suffer. I can't be alone with the both of them and have one be asleep in my arms for hours. The truth is, listening to him cry is very painful for me, when I know that I can easily relieve it, but as evidenced by the fact that after crying for 23 minutes, he has been peacefully asleep in his own bed for almost two hours, it's best for all of us. My goal right now is one nap per day in the crib, and I will continue to extend it until he is sleeping in there all the time. Night time will be hardest of course, but I am not going to think about that. When I have him napping easily in there, at the very least I will have more confidence going into night time. *I say officially SAHM because until last week I was still trying to find a full time job. At this point we have decided to liquidate some assets so that I can stay at home until L. is two. I never wanted to be a SAHM before, but I have eased into it at this point and know that I can do it. I was with him from April 11- July 31 and lost my job October 4th, so he has been with me most of the time already. I am hoping to consult when I can, but I will be his primary care giver until he goes to school. I will get all of his firsts, rather than a nanny. I will be able to minimize the time my big boy spends at school- only regular day, six hours per day instead of 8-10. I am not pulling him out of Montessori because he is learning and thriving. I know enough to admit that he will learn infinitely more and benefit tremendously from continuing as he is now. As it is I will have to force my lazy ass to make something out of the day... I will take walks, and read to the boy, and try to teach him things. I will take on household projects, make lovely home cooked meals, finish the scrap books. Naps is that crib will be put to good use! It's a whole new day around here, on many levels!

No more sleeping on mommy all the time!

I haven't posted since October of 2011. My how time flies. We're on December 2012 and there is a whole new 8 month old person in this house with us. I'd like to keep up with this blog a bit more, especially since I am now basically a SAHM. I'm still figuring out what I want to do with this, but for today I am moved to put pen to paper, so to speak, because of the tragedy that occurred in CT last Friday. A lunatic walked into an elementary school and killed 20 kids aged 6 and 7 and six of their educators. This act is so unspeakable, the consequences so very heartbreaking. I don't know who in this country (or anywhere in the world where they have seen what happened) could be unaffected. Those of us who have small children are suffering in some VERY SMALL measure right along with Newton CT and all of the people who were directly affected by this tragedy. We feel you out there. We really do. The sadness is crushing. I look at my little boy sitting here next to me shoving broccoli in his mouth and trying to hide the "chicken" (really a pork chop) on his plate, and my love for him fills my heart, the room, the house, the universe. These little lives, these little treasures so full of potential and promise and dreams. They are what life is all about, and to have 20 of these lights snuffed out is just beyond tragic. I hope the families can take some comfort, even a breath of comfort, from all of us who are crying along with them.