Nap and Potty Fail

Still no success with the crib. I think we hit a low point on the last attempt. We let him cry for 2.5 hours this past weekend. One of us stayed in the room the whole time, talking to him, patting him. Nothing worked. At this point I have thrown up my hands and called a professional sleep consultant. I KNOW in theory what I am supposed to do and in fact did it quite well with #1 son, who to this day is a great sleeper and loves his crib. The professional will analyze what we have been doing and together we will come up with a plan and we will stick to it. I just need someone who knows what the hell they are doing to tell me what I am putting in place is ok. It will definitely be challenging for everyone at first because I am so lazy about just letting him sleep on me whenever wherever. But I'm not willing to sit around and do nothing while I am home with him. There are a million projects, improvements, plans that I have. I also want quality time with the big boy alone while the little one takes his morning nap. Right now I am stuck inside while he plays outside with daddy. So this is all for the best. Boy, it's hard to be a parent! The other big project over winter break was supposed to be teaching big boy to use the potty. He will go to the bathroom once a day on most days at school. At home he wants NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Physically he is ready but emotionally, he is not ready. Period, end of story. We have tried candy, toys, stickers, cookies, showing him how we pee, everything you are supposed to do and think of. Yesterday he happened to be naked after bath and seemed like he needed to pee so we put him on the toilet and he was just. so. miserable. Not crying like a tantrum but really crying in misery. So that's it. He may be almost 3, but he's not ready, and I'm not willing to hide his diapers and force him to use the toilet or potty at this point. I will keep asking and encouraging but he is going to have to be ok with trying. It's hard to walk the line between what is good for them and what is going to traumatize them! Goodness!